A reminder that life is short - LIVE IT!

A couple of days ago my family suffered a tragic loss, my 34 year old cousin left this earth. As you can imagine, the loss was devastating to her Mom and the rest of the family. As death often does, it makes you question your own mortality and life. I was reminded how precious life is, and how it truly is meant to be lived filled with joy and love. A reminder to not waste our days in stress or worry...to live it as if it were our last, and enjoy what matters most. There is still work to be done and we will get caught up in our daily grind, but don't forget to stop and appreciate all that we have. Notice the beauty around you, and remind yourself how extremely lucky you are to have people in your life. I will end this with something my cousin wrote last September, I think it is incredible to see these words knowing we no longer have her here on earth...I know she is here and all around us still loving us with even more now.

"Live your life while you can! Go on that trip. Take that swim. Kiss that person. Go to that wedding that you don't really feel like going to. A drive to Santa Cruz. Dinner in the City. Experience life as much as you can. Anytime you have a chance, take it!! I promise that you will never regret it. Anxiety & depression can be debilitating. It makes you feel like you can't do anything. Once it hits.. you'll never be the same because it's like, once you've known that fear, and you feel it, you can't forget it. Try your best to overcome it. Talk to people who understand. People do care. Try to think positive. Positive thoughts bring positive things. Pray. Meditate. Breathe. Anything that helps you. Just try. Don't let it take the fight out of you" (Alisha, September 2014).

Appreciation

Last night I received something that made me appreciate some work that I have been doing for several years. It was a moment that blind faith materialized, and it felt like a weight had been lifted from me. It was within a half an hour that my mind started thinking about the next steps and the what if's and it really took me by surprise. I actually said out loud "hold on, let me just revel in this appreciation." And it struck me, how often do we get to a place of so much joy and then don't appreciate that moment for more than a few minutes. What if we stayed in that place of appreciation? What if we lived with appreciation? So many books I have read have talked about living in gratitude and appreciation, and that when you do you break through barriers and you live the life you dream of. And in that moment last night it just clicked for me. That the joy is truly in the journey, and sometimes that requires blind faith and the not knowing of how a situation turns out but don't waste the journey on stress or your neurotic "what if" mind. Live in the moment, and trust that everything is happening just as it should, and that is so damn hard sometimes!! That's okay though, just get back in to appreciation and gratitude as quickly as possible. Being kind to yourself, remember that it is a journey and you will slip and fall along the way but keep moving forward. I appreciate this avenue of creativity and sharing my journey, I appreciate sharing my life with an incredible man who teaches me appreciation every day, I appreciate sharing my life with two children that bring me so much joy, I appreciate my friends who are there to lift me up and share in the joys. I appreciate my family and I appreciate life. When you are feeling joy and you are so excited for a moment, try and stay there for a while before jumping out of it and worrying about the next steps or the next part. Namaste :)

You did not die

"You did not die when you fell out of the tree
You did not die when you drove fast and went off the road.
You did not die when you crashed on the toboggan or when
you were lost in the desert for real or in your mind. But you did not die on the mountain nor
when you went under for the third time or when you lost your way. When you lost
all your money. You did not die when you died on the operating table. Not when your
heart stopped or when you were burned. Not when your body was challenged, terrorized
you did not die. You didn't even die when you gave up. Not when you saw
life blown to kingdom come, not even then did you die.
Not even when you jumped into the grave, or went terminally numb. Not when
you dried to bones. Not when your heart was hung by the neck till death.
Not when your bones were slashed, burned and your ashes blown away, even then
you did not die. You did not die, something in us, something eternal, the wounded healer comes
to the fore, takes it's tentative steps, grows stronger and thins to mend us. Body is filled with the stories of children you brought in to this world, it is filled with those you brought through who could not stay" Clarissa Pinkola Estes, Ph.D. ~ The Joyous Body

This reminded me of the resilience in each of us. And when she says the wounded healer in each of us, it reminds me that our stories can be healing for so many others. Even in death we do not die, our souls are set free from this physical world that we live. It is so powerful to read this, and it reminds me that each of us has a story, each of us has lived through unimaginable pain and that we are still here. We are still alive. Our pains and our challenges create the strength and beauty that we all have within. Through it all, we did not die. We are all wounded healers, some of us just emerging, some long emerged and teaching, and some not yet emerged but we all are wounded healers. What a gift and how alike we all truly are. Namaste :)

My sweet child

My sweet child
You will never know the pain
You will never know the guilt
You will never know how long I tried to stay

You will not know the demons that were battled
You will not know the decisions that were so hard to make
You will not know the burden it was to carry
You will not know the days I could barely get through

My sweet child
You will not know the nights that were filled with tears
You will not know the fear of the withdrawal
You will not know the heartbreak of seeing a parent fall apart

You will not know the pain of your childhood being taken too soon
You will not know what it is like to ask your parent to choose you
You will not know the pain of asking your husband to please choose you
You will not know the pain of never being enough

My sweet child
You will not know the pain of having to be the glue that holds it together
You will not know what it is like to be told to stop dreaming so much
You will never know the pain of not knowing who I really am

My sweet child
Although I can not protect you from ever feeling pain
You will always have a Mom that
Encourages you
Loves you
Supports your dreams whatever they may be
Never lets you limit yourself
That is healthy enough to show you her love

I hope and pray that you will find your happiness in life
I have made the best decisions I could to give you the best life possible
I have made decisions to be the best me possible so that
You will always have an example to be authentic to who you are

I love you my sweet child, and you may know hurt in life, but you will always have a Mom that loves you and is your biggest fan. Always, unconditional love. There are truly no words, I wish for you that you that you find love, that you always feel as if you are more than enough, that you never settle for less than experiencing the best in everything. I wish for you that you find joy, peace and happiness. I wish for you that you are always authentic to who you are, and that you find someone who encourages it in you, and who supports you in all that you do. My wish for you is to live this life with passion and joy because that is why we are here, and that is what you are worth.

Compassion - An Empowerment

"Tibetan Buddhists believe that saying the mantra (prayer), Om Mani Padme Hum, out loud or silently to oneself, invokes the powerful benevolent attention and blessings of Chenrezig, the embodiment of compassion" (Dharma Haven.org).

Yesterday I had the opportunity to join Buddhist Monks from Tibet in a small town called Grass Valley. Sierra Friends of Tibet are hosting them for two weeks, with several events including the building of a sand mandala. I was able to attend a compassion empowerment and blessing by these Buddhist Monks. I was so grateful to be in the presence of such peaceful beings. I thought about the oppression and struggles that Tibet has been through, and was so moved by the peace that is still within these amazing people. The Master Monk spoke of compassion and how it was our duty after receiving this blessing to send out compassion to all beings. I thought about this for most of the evening after and this morning. Today we celebrate Martin Luther King, Jr. in America and how this day is really about compassion. Even when we are oppressed or attacked there is still a way to find compassion for all beings. I think about the people who have paved the way before us like Martin Luther King, Jr., Nelson Mandela, Mother Theresa and so many more. They have stood for justice, but with so much compassion in their hearts.

What if we offered compassion to all beings? What would that world look like? I can only offer compassion from myself and all other beings and hope that the compassion spreads. There is too much anger and pain in this world and we need more compassion. To love each other and offer compassion from our hearts to our fellow human beings. It is a tough practice but I will do the best that I can each day to offer compassion to all beings. Namaste :)

You can overcome!

You can overcome
When you fall and stumble
You can stand back up
You can overcome

You can overcome
When someone hurts you
When you are feeling broken
You can overcome

You can overcome
When you are drowning in sorrow
When you have no hope
You can overcome

You can overcome
When your light is dim
When you feel as if you can only see darkness
You can overcome

You are a powerful creator
You are capable
You are a vibrant light
You can stand tall

Never let anyone convince you otherwise, especially yourself. What have you been wanting to do? How have you been wanting to feel? What have you dreamt of? You can overcome any challenge, any illness, any doubt, any depression. Take the step. Find someone who can uplift you. Do your work. Reach out for help. Change your thoughts. Get the positive momentum going, stop letting the darkness reign. Joy, hope, peace, love - these are all within, let them break free. Shine your light, stand tall, put your shoulders back and say "I AM WORTH IT!!" Namaste :)

Be the light in someone else's life today

Happy Monday! For a few days now I have been in a kind of funk. I am so close to realizing some of my dreams coming true, but first I still have much work to do. I am not a very patient person, and sometimes I have to remind myself to be still and that soon all things will work out. This morning I woke up and wondered what I could do to become a bit more patient. I took a chance to look back on the last several years of my life, and I remembered how impatient I was years ago when I started back in college. And here I am one semester away from my bachelors. Many people didn't understand why I would want to go back in my mid 30's, but I knew that time would pass anyway, so I might as well start. It was an exciting time and it has been a challenging few years. It has also been a very empowering and exciting few years. I have learned so much, and I know that my Masters comes after this, but I am so close to realizing a dream of mine that I had for so long. I thought of every excuse why not to go, and then finally I decided the one reason I needed to go....I had to make one of my dreams come true, no matter how hard and no matter how old I was.

With this came some thoughts and appreciation for so many people along this journey. There are so many people that have made a difference in my life, and so many people who encouraged me when I wanted to give up. When my light seemed to go out, there are people who have helped me ignite the light in my soul once again. These teachers, friends and my husband who have rekindled that light I can not thank enough. The wisdom that has been shared with me has been incredible, and something that I am so grateful for. So today, I am grateful for the wisdom, love and patience of my teachers and friends, and husband have so graciously given me. Without people my life would be gravely lonely, without support I would not have made it this far. I am grateful for the people in my life, and for the people who will impact me that I haven't met yet. What are you grateful for today? Who has made a difference in your life? Who has encouraged you when you needed it most? Gratitude propels you in to joy, and living in a vibration of joy helps you realize your dreams. I will never stop dreaming, and I will never stop learning. I am so very grateful for this. Be the light for someone else today, help others rekindle their light within. Namaste :)