Back to writing, and my dreams

I have taken quite the hiatus in writing in this space, the space I enjoyed so much for a long time. I remembered that this all started to keep an online journal of my thoughts on life for my kids. And for the last couple years I have not put any focus on it. Perhaps it is time to get back to some things in life. I've had two years of putting my dreams aside, not because I had to, but because I got a bit side tracked working a new job for the County. I started seeing that the allure of a pension made sense, and I kept telling myself "Your 60 year old self with thank your 40 year old self for a pension", which has a lot of truth to it I am sure. You can still chase your dreams while making good financial decisions - I will say that again for myself - you can still chase your dreams while making good financial decisions. Phew, that is a hard one for me to grasp sometimes. I also took on a high stress job, dispatching! You work so much overtime, often you get one day off a week, working 12 hours shifts or more each day. The adrenaline rushes come every few minutes sometimes, I can't even fathom what that does to ones health....oh wait....yes I can!

This year I decided to set some goals, ones that I can look at long term, like five year goals, and ones that I can look at weekly. This has helped shift my focus to actually guiding my life instead of just responding to it. I have felt like that the last two years, like I have just responded to whatever comes up the best way I can. That has worked, until it just doesn't work. I switched jobs to one that gives me more 'me' time and one that has less adrenaline ups and downs. For the last six months it felt like I was detoxing and finally coming back to me. And my dreams of life are re-emerging with a gentle nudge, saying 'we are still here and you are still capable' - a beautiful and comforting feeling.

It is time to love and nourish myself again, and time to chase my dreams, but this time with setting goals. And as I reach those goals, celebrate them! I am trying to nourish my body back to health as well, it is a whole experience for me - mind, body and spirit. Each one depends on the other, and it is time to honor that once again. I am feeling a bit overwhelmed but I am also excited. I am starting with reading about plant based eating to help my body, bringing back meditation - a little each day to start, and then get back into a yoga practice. Kindness toward myself and all others - Namaste :)

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