I am very close to being able to get married after a long time waiting, and I am excited as one should be before they embark on a journey of an incredible life of love. Many years ago I set intentions about what type of love I wanted in my life, and I wrote those intentions down, and I stared at it every day at work, and in my car. I knew the journey to get there was not going to depend on the person who loved me, but it would depend on the work I had to do within. I knew that I had to choose to accept myself, and to create the me that was vulnerable and open enough to accept the love I dreamed of. That journey started after some profound truths came out about the life I was living in. I also lost my Mom, and it shook everything to my core. I had the chance to choose a path and life that I loved, and that was true to the authentic me. There were many changes that would come from that, some that I planned and some that I never imagined could change. I was a wife and a mother, and I had no idea the changes I made in my core would change these relationships and end a marriage. Looking back it feels like it all happened over night, and yet during those times I was crippled by fear of the unknown. I took several steps forward and then several back, and that cycle happened over the course of a year. At one point I knew that the life that I was creating was the life that was true to the authentic me, the best me I could offer myself and my children. The relationship I had with my children deepened and bloomed like something I had never imagined. They were able to see strength, love and commitment to being true to yourself and your word. To this day, I am in awe of how much love I have for my two children. They follow their passions, they live creatively and they understand that the most important thing in life is to follow your bliss, to follow what is authentic to them. I am proud to be their mother, and I am proud of the values I am able to teach them through living my own life by following my bliss, and always being authentic to who I am.
What I also found through this journey was that love that I intended on many years ago. Each day brings me a new awareness of the depth of this love that I have found. Many people have asked me "how can I find that"? I always have the same answer, you have to do your self work first, the reason why this love works, is because each of us have done our work. What work is that? We had to face our own fears, and we have to commit to doing our self work each day. Finding the authenticity in our selves, and in living each day. To make sure that we are growing, and admitting our own faults. Not just admitting them, but moving forward in life, being kind to ourselves and working to be better to ourselves each day. We focus on living a life that feels good, to swim with the current instead of against it. To do the things that we enjoy and not forget about what this life is about, to enjoy it. We laugh like we have never laughed before, we have cried too both happy and sad tears. We have helped each other grow in ways we couldn't have done on our own. We encourage each other, and we are truly best friends. We keep ourselves accountable and we make sure to be kind to each other always. This is the love I imagined and intended, and yet it is so much more than I ever thought could be. My advice to anyone out there is to never lose sight of what you dream of, to always stay true to your authentic self, and to follow the path with no resistance. Follow your inner guide, ask yourself are you swimming upstream against the current, or are you flowing with it downstream? Only you can answer this. And do your work, you can not attract anything in to your life that does not mirror the energy you are giving out. If you are peaceful, happy and filled with joy and love that is what you will attract. Find your center, go within, be honest with yourself. Laugh, laugh and laugh some more. The lighter your energy, the lighter the world for you. I never gave up on that dream, and I will never give up on living vulnerably, authentically, joyously and peacefully. No matter what happens in life you can always find the positive. My very soon to be hubby reminded me of this today. He reminded me that no matter what happens in life, or what challenges come up it is a reminder to focus on feeling downstream, finding the positive and loving through it all. I am blessed beyond words, and I am proud to say I have co-created this incredible life. Enjoy your journey, all of it - the storms, the sunshine, the rain, and the dark! Namaste :)
Wednesday, October 22, 2014
Thursday, October 16, 2014
The last few mornings on my drive to work, there has been breathtaking beauty that I notice. Yesterday I saw so many rainbows I felt as if life was telling me that no matter what storm comes I will always have beauty in life to see. And today, the cloud formations with the sun peeking through, and the green of the trees after a fresh rain told me that there is always opportunity to be new and fresh each day. I feel so grateful to be alive, and I am profoundly aware of that recently. It is so easy for me and for all of us really, to get caught up in our daily tasks. The waking up, getting the kids prepared (although mine are old enough to do that on their own), get ourselves to work, get home, get dinner prepared, spend time with family, perhaps do homework, or a second job, or sports practices. You get the point, life becomes so routine that sometimes we forget to look up at the beauty that nature is showing us about life.
I am fortunate to have a beautiful drive each day and I get to take about 40 minutes to take in the Sierra Nevada's and all of their beauty. For many, they don't get that time. So what can you do to take in some of nature? Perhaps take a walk on lunch, or take some time to look up. The trees give off so much calm and peaceful energy, the sky is so expansive it reminds us to open up and expand to our highest potential. The sun is there to remind us that there is warmth that surrounds us. The fresh air is there to remind us to breathe deeply and take the time to still our minds. Make a point to notice the beauty of nature today, go out and find it. It will be amazing what you see! Namaste :)
Tuesday, October 14, 2014
Over the weekend, I tried yet again to become a scuba diver. I have an irrational fear of not breathing and I get really claustrophobic. Now you might think that this little story ends with the grace and joy of overcoming my fears and becoming a diver. Well, it doesn't. I didn't get through it, I woke up in tears so afraid to even go back to class, and I said out loud "I don't want to be a diver". It was liberating and it was defeating all at the same time. You see, the man I am about to marry is an incredible diver and loves diving very much. So I tried to become one so that we can spend quality time doing what he loves. What came of this was my acceptance that there might be some things that he does that I don't and vice versa. I also realized that he loved me no matter what, and that he would love me if I was a diver or not a diver. I know, that seems so obvious, but sometimes our minds try and tell us a different story. And that is what this is about, to recognize your fears and recognize that sometimes are biggest fear is to fail at something. I didn't fail, I just admitted that at this time I am not ready to do this. And I also realized that at some point in this life, I do want to overcome this fear. We try and be all for everyone, but in reality we need to be true to ourselves. I worked myself up to become something that just isn't right for me at this time, all while knowing I wasn't being true to myself. So be true to who you are, and truly try to overcome your fears. I have walked through many fears to become who I am today, and I can tell you that on the other side of fear truly is bliss. But take the time to do it when it feels right to you, and do your best to stay true to yourself always. Namaste :)
Monday, October 13, 2014
I spent the weekend with family and caring for my Grandmother. There was conversation around growth and the trials that we all go through. And I really started thinking about my path and the trials, challenges and just all around difficult times. And what I saw through it all is that I could never appreciate my life the way I do now had I not been through all the things I have. There was far from a perfect childhood, yet I was loved. I had far from a perfect first marriage but it was perfect for me at the time, and my two children were such a blessing from that. Looking back, sure I could have made better decisions, but I made the decisions that were right at that time. I have climbed the mountains and I stand at the top looking around appreciating the beauty of all that has brought me here. I have such gratitude each and every day for the relationship that I have, my children who have taught me to be patient, loving, and courageous. I still have many miles to go in life, but the greatest gift is learning to live in the moment and appreciate what I have today. I am eternally grateful that my awareness of life is getting better each day, that my experience of love deepens each day, and that gratitude increases every day. I hope you can look at your life and see how far you have come, and how much further we can all go. Breathe in the beauty, and have gratitude for all that has happened in life and all that promises to be. Namaste :)
Tuesday, October 7, 2014
Well with the energies of the universe helping us all test our strength and shining light so that we can see some of our darkness, it is important that we find joy and laughter. Today, that is your goal: Find a reason to laugh, and then find another. We have some strong energies happening on our beautiful planet, that have been pretty tough for some of us. Are you feeling frustrated, feeling like your past has bubbled up again, or tired and have a headache? Some people are feeling overwhelmed at how much is on their plate. Well the good news is, we are in this energy right now and it will help us de-clutter, and it will also help us put some of our challenges to rest. So face your problems head on, but today find the laughter. Laughter can heal us so deeply. Laughter can help negative energy clear from around us, and it can help us remember why we are all here - to experience this amazing life that is full of beauty. Take some time today to find something that makes you laugh, or call up an old friend that always makes you chuckle. Or if you are the one that makes people laugh reach out and help bring some sunshine to someone's life. Let's not take life so seriously today, let's just find the joy in it, and flow. Have a happy day, Namaste :)
Monday, October 6, 2014
How are you handling this Mercury Retrograde? I know that my past is bubbling up, and I have heard from a few friends that they are experiencing this as well. I hope for most of you that it is smooth sailing. This did make me think about how to live authentically in the midst of storms or challenges. And I have said this many times before, self-work is so important right now. Meditation, quiet time, getting out in nature - all of these things are so important when you are in the midst of storms. Finding your joy and peace even in the midst of chaos or unsettling is what will keep moving you forward and continuing to live authentically. Let the emotions come, and go. Send them off with love. Then claim your power again, however this is for you. Start journaling, and make sure your affirmations are a part of your daily routine. Staying present, in this moment and appreciating is what I am trying to do today. Don't worry about later or tomorrow, just live in this moment. And focus on the peace and stillness of in-between each breath. Let your love and peace radiate, especially now. Namaste :)
Wednesday, October 1, 2014
Happy October to all! My mantra this month is two things: Living magnificently and experiencing the best of everything. Just saying that makes me feel so excited and alive. What are you planning on doing this month? I have been working so much on self work, that so many of my dreams are manifesting. I am so grateful for so much, and writing my gratitude list today was such a wonderful feeling. To begin a new month filled with gratitude feels so awesome. So my challenge to you is to take a few moments and write down 10 things you are grateful for today, and 10 things that you will be grateful for at the end of the month (dream big here!). Then at the end of the month look at how magnificently you created your best life. Let your life live through you, flow with it. Dream it & Believe it! Namaste :)