Thursday, June 25, 2015

She Believed She Could....

Last weekend I graduated with my bachelors degree, and it was a moment that had been years in the making. There were many that disagreed with what I was doing when I decided to go back to school in my mid 30's, many that said it was a waste of time and some that even said I should stop dreaming so much. I am so glad I followed my heart and stayed true to myself. I was able to complete the first step in a journey that I have dreamt of for a long time.

When my Mom died in 2006 my world came crashing down around me. I fell in to a depression and at the same time my career had ended due to the financial crisis of the housing industry. I also found out that my marriage was probably going to end, but wasn't quite sure. It was a matter of 6 months that my Mom died, I lost my career, our house went into foreclosure and my marriage was on shaky ground. At that time I also contemplated suicide to escape the pain and depression. Luckily I chose to live, and from the point I made that decision my life was new again. I started a journey of self discovery, self love and self forgiveness. I believed that if I worked on me then my life could be all that I wanted it to be. Over a period of several years I started believing in myself more and more. In 2009 I decided I would go back to school to become a therapist, it was something I had wanted since I was young. I didn't know how I was going to do it, and I took a leap of faith and just followed what felt right. It was time to start living, it was time to learn to breathe again.

From the time I started school I experienced another life change that would lead me deeper into my journey, I decided to divorce my husband after more than a decade I decided to follow my heart and start a new life. I was deathly afraid of how this would affect my kids, and in the end my daughter said it best after a difficult year, she said "I love to see you happy, and you have been so happy" it was a moment that helped me stay strong through several years of doubt, worry and best of all more growth than I had ever been through - I made it. Not only did I make it in life, I became the best me possible, one that has created the life she could only imagine. I can stand tall and know that I stayed true to who I am and became the woman I always thought I could be. Walking across the stage to receive my diploma last week was way more than a piece of paper, it was a moment to realize and appreciate a new and wonderful life. I am turning 40 this year and I can honestly say I have created the most incredible life for me. It was a long, sometimes difficult, sometimes incredible journey...and it was worth every step. For those who doubt themselves and doubt that they can create joy and peace in their lives...don' is possible, it takes you to believe in yourself. When you start working on yourself and you start forgiving and loving you - your life will blossom, your soul will fly. I start my Masters in the fall, and I am savoring each moment of this incredible life and journey. Namaste :)

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