I am very close to being able to get married after a long time waiting, and I am excited as one should be before they embark on a journey of an incredible life of love. Many years ago I set intentions about what type of love I wanted in my life, and I wrote those intentions down, and I stared at it every day at work, and in my car. I knew the journey to get there was not going to depend on the person who loved me, but it would depend on the work I had to do within. I knew that I had to choose to accept myself, and to create the me that was vulnerable and open enough to accept the love I dreamed of. That journey started after some profound truths came out about the life I was living in. I also lost my Mom, and it shook everything to my core. I had the chance to choose a path and life that I loved, and that was true to the authentic me. There were many changes that would come from that, some that I planned and some that I never imagined could change. I was a wife and a mother, and I had no idea the changes I made in my core would change these relationships and end a marriage. Looking back it feels like it all happened over night, and yet during those times I was crippled by fear of the unknown. I took several steps forward and then several back, and that cycle happened over the course of a year. At one point I knew that the life that I was creating was the life that was true to the authentic me, the best me I could offer myself and my children. The relationship I had with my children deepened and bloomed like something I had never imagined. They were able to see strength, love and commitment to being true to yourself and your word. To this day, I am in awe of how much love I have for my two children. They follow their passions, they live creatively and they understand that the most important thing in life is to follow your bliss, to follow what is authentic to them. I am proud to be their mother, and I am proud of the values I am able to teach them through living my own life by following my bliss, and always being authentic to who I am.
What I also found through this journey was that love that I intended on many years ago. Each day brings me a new awareness of the depth of this love that I have found. Many people have asked me "how can I find that"? I always have the same answer, you have to do your self work first, the reason why this love works, is because each of us have done our work. What work is that? We had to face our own fears, and we have to commit to doing our self work each day. Finding the authenticity in our selves, and in living each day. To make sure that we are growing, and admitting our own faults. Not just admitting them, but moving forward in life, being kind to ourselves and working to be better to ourselves each day. We focus on living a life that feels good, to swim with the current instead of against it. To do the things that we enjoy and not forget about what this life is about, to enjoy it. We laugh like we have never laughed before, we have cried too both happy and sad tears. We have helped each other grow in ways we couldn't have done on our own. We encourage each other, and we are truly best friends. We keep ourselves accountable and we make sure to be kind to each other always. This is the love I imagined and intended, and yet it is so much more than I ever thought could be. My advice to anyone out there is to never lose sight of what you dream of, to always stay true to your authentic self, and to follow the path with no resistance. Follow your inner guide, ask yourself are you swimming upstream against the current, or are you flowing with it downstream? Only you can answer this. And do your work, you can not attract anything in to your life that does not mirror the energy you are giving out. If you are peaceful, happy and filled with joy and love that is what you will attract. Find your center, go within, be honest with yourself. Laugh, laugh and laugh some more. The lighter your energy, the lighter the world for you. I never gave up on that dream, and I will never give up on living vulnerably, authentically, joyously and peacefully. No matter what happens in life you can always find the positive. My very soon to be hubby reminded me of this today. He reminded me that no matter what happens in life, or what challenges come up it is a reminder to focus on feeling downstream, finding the positive and loving through it all. I am blessed beyond words, and I am proud to say I have co-created this incredible life. Enjoy your journey, all of it - the storms, the sunshine, the rain, and the dark! Namaste :)